Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Tuesday poem #473 : Robert Hogg : The Poem that Starts in the Night

 

 

            I

If I look out the window
of this house I am given
to live in white

ice and snow
my own heart

frozen
the landscape

a picture
of what I am

to myself   

    my family my
surroundings
softer

and warmer
than ever I might

in a more luckless
time have known
 

    but I do not
count my blessings
as I know I should

   
though there are
no shoulds

she tells me                   

    four chairs to sit on
and a sleeping cat
on each

  
Motley
on the divan

  
Big Kitty
on the rocker

I might push to
the window and read

in the coming
light

   
Hamlet
asleep on another

   
and in the easy chair
   
Baby Cat

curled up
in peace
 

And all this
reminds me
to let things

fall into place
around me

as best I can

    Leslie
asleep in our bed
our next child deep

in her womb

    Ethan
in his crib   
   
what

pleasures and fears
will lead him

away from his soul
   
what kind

word or hand
someday

lead him back


            II 

On the third
of February
I make my

annual call
for spring
 

Winter is
killing me
again it

finds me
as usual

wrapped in myself

Every winter
it’s the same old
thing only

older      older
this is what

the ritual
seasons

always forget
to tell

           
that we all die
           
a real and final

           
death as well
and each of these

winters
brings us closer

to what it means
to turn white

as driven
snow

 

            III 

God knows
we try to beat it
as even these Hyacinths

forced into life
bloom now

in February
for our delight

but will not again  

    though planted in
   
the ground they are
   
perennial

   
and multiply
   
their kind
   

    we kill them
   
for their beauty
   
breed them against

   
themselves
   
so we can have

   
life in a landscape
   
of death

   
a fragrance of
   
winter spring
           

    It is true
even the best
would kill

anything
to have life

in their world           

            though some
           
I believe
           
would die

           
rather than kill
           
just to live

 

            IV 

   So this
hyacinth
blossoms

and love
fills our house
 

everyone
including the dog
and Nelly

curled up in
the kitchen

are in a possible
dream of summer

such as only
warm sleep

and fragrance
can provide
 

while I am
awake thinking
the many ways

you have made
this house

a bit of brightness
when your own thoughts

are shadowed
much of the time

 

            V 

    Love that
comes in the night
or early in

the morning
flees

at first light
when doubt

beckons
and the mind

questions every
action every

belief become
illusion

   
sleeping arms
and legs now

shards of intellect
bits of hair in my eyes

shreds of my own
nakedness

a heart
pounding fear

because I cannot
believe an age old

dream of love
and renewal

could still
be true
 

    If only I
could bow
my head

unthinking
for a while

let my spine
uncoil my

limbs
loosen

a little
maybe then

I could feel
the near

death
a dreaming

hyacinth
allows

 

            VI 

    And what do I fear

    That I need to die 

I do not
need to die this
hyacinth saves

my neck from the ax
for a time at least

grows pink in the dark
basement before

being brought to light
where it blooms now

in the frosted pane

It shows me a gentler
birth a gentler
death courts the heart

so we who live and die
in the world of which

we are the instance
day in and day out

may find our way
to withstand

the undoing of night

    And so we force
these hyacinths
to bloom always

and necessarily
ahead of nature’s

call and then
discard them

for the real
spring flowers
 

    So too the poem
bursts in the dark
awaiting light


RLH: Hawthorne Farm, Gloucester ON: 1973-02-03, when Leslie was pregnant with Cyrus.
Rev: Mtn: 2020-06-24-25; 2020-07-12; 2020-07-13; 2021-12-27.

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Hogg was born in Edmonton, Alberta, grew up in the Cariboo and Fraser Valley in British Columbia, and attended UBC during the early Sixties where he was associated with the Vancouver TISH poets, co-edited MOTION - a prose newsletter, and graduated with a BA in English and Creative Writing. His books include: The Connexions, Berkeley: Oyez, 1966; Standing Back, Toronto: Coach House, 1972; Of Light, Toronto: Coach House, 1978; Heat Lightning, Windsor: Black Moss, 1986; There Is No Falling, Toronto: ECW,1993; and as editor, An English Canadian Poetics, The Confederation Poets – Vol. 1, Vancouver: Talonbooks, 2009. He recently published several chapbooks: from LAMENTATIONS, Ottawa: above/ground, 2016; two Cariboo poems, Ranch Days – The McIntosh from hawk/weed press in Kemptville, ON; Ranch Days—for Ed Dorn from battleaxe press (Ottawa 2019); A Quiet Affair – Vancouver ’63 (Trainwreck, May 2021); and in August 2021 a chapbook titled From Each Forthcoming (above/ground). In December 2021, a chapbook will be released from Hogwallow Press, called The Red Menace, and another from Apt 9 Press in Ottawa, called Apothegms.

rhe Tuesday poem is curated by rob mclennan

 

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