for Rachel Milligan
when I'm too candid for
abstractions
absence
isn't lack, but inadequacy thrown into relief
it's
my turn to say, I'm not comfortable with the arrangement
morning is a hook piercing the jowls
delays between our answers lengthen
when I keep a lavish
sample spritzer for when & only when
the
when is catatonic at the clinic for I lost track of how long, but at
least I
smelled elegant
the
rain turns torrential, as if cued
the
magic 8 ball gets stuck edges-up, rejecting its own limited
outcomes
wonder
is coming back for us, but not yet
you
try to leave your body, but the severance doesn’t take
when the news dares us to
stay brave
the
news gives us the spins
the
news becomes vomit in a pristine hotel toilet
this
is no time for grace
I cave first
& call from the stairwell, where things are allowed to get
personal
when I petitioned the
patron saint of all things prurient, I forgot to be
specific
the city shrinks to fit my
palm
I leave, the sun will be
wedged between treetops
we live & breathe our
customer-focused culture
I log my absence in the absence
management program
when our bodies carry on
with secret dealings during sleep
you look at me just-so & I
go what? to diminish it
friends kiss on the sidewalk
wearing uncertain spring haircuts
aberrant weather lets us feel okay
longer, though not without guilt
lovers along the tolerability continuum are known as situations
when her voice trails tenderness around the bedroom someone says, This
is going to get weird, there’s a sure sign it won't checking whether I've
forgotten already means I haven't you snore within minutes after
finishing, I hallucinate concepts like husband Frank
wrote, Heterosexuality! you are inexorably approaching, it was a warning
when I gained agency
because I learned how to aim
a fist uncurls inside my throat
& I’m rapturous, emptied of all objectives
I mean shock to the system, the overtone is sex
our appetites meet in a subhuman state, that’s called a miracle
a siren call needs retuning, where do you take it?
when I understood how a
touch can be both game & wholly indifferent
my body is returned in working
order, it’s both comfort &
disappointment even the withered succulents
outlasted all this, where's the lesson
about neglect? you about-face at the corner, but
my pulse holds steady the rousing spell has run its
course—
Alina
Pleskova is a poet, editor, and Russian immigrant turned proud Philadelphian.
Her work has been featured in American Poetry Review, Thrush, Entropy,
Cosmonauts Avenue, Peach Mag, the Poetry Project, and elsewhere. Her chapbook,
What Urge Will Save Us, was published by Spooky Girlfriend Press in 2017. With
Jackee Sadicario, she co-edits bedfellows magazine and is a 2020 Leeway
Foundation Art & Change awardee. She's trying to finish a full-length
poetry collection about glitchy desire.
the
Tuesday poem is curated by rob mclennan